Steppingstones

I set out to write a book once, but I didn't. The wording, the timing... none of it was ever perfect.

I did not set out to write this entry tonight, but I am. Words cannot perfectly convey what is on my heart. But we're all imperfect people, each with a little glimpse of the whole to share. 

The title would have been Steppingstones: A Path from Truth to Trust. When Caleb was two and in Mother's Day Out, I wanted to spend that time compiling some of the lessons God had been teaching me for several years. Lessons that made God real to me -- not just a faith passed down from my parents, not just stories handed down by loving Sunday school teachers -- but undeniably, personally real. For the most part, these lessons followed trials (though a wider lens has shown that my trials were blessedly small). Depression, an eating disorder, and the physical inability to have a child on "my" timeline, to name a few. But now, looking back on each of those struggles, a treasure meets me instead of regret. 

Some precious friends back in Texas are going through an unimaginable trial right now, one they've faced for years. (jessicakaylor.blogspot.com) I cannot see their treasure yet. I pray that God has blessed them with glimpses of it -- glimpses of His Person that the rest of us may not fully perceive in the midst of our busy lives, daily directions of how to place their hope in Him...

It is possible to be fully convinced of the reality of the One True God, and not at all understand what He is doing in a given situation at a given time. Most of my Christian friends would agree with this, but much of the world holds this as the grounds to dismiss Him altogether. 

From one of my tiny trials:

Heavenly Father, 

You are bigger than

this too-familiar numbness

Your glory shines brighter than

this present darkness

Your joy runs deeper than

this nameless sorrow

Your Presence

rebukes this loneliness

Your Love 

reassures this aching heart.

"I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed."

~Malachi 3:6~

I love you, Jessica. And He loves you more.