In the interest of full disclosure...

This morning went smoothly enough for the most part.

Even walked the kids to school with Keeper.

When the bell rang, Meg and her friend Leila were standing right by the door, so they started the line. All of a sudden, Meg screams, "Keep-y!" and jumps out of line to go hug on Keeper.

My first very mature adult thought was, "She just lost her place at the front of the line!"

My very mature adult response was to grab her by the jacket and yell, "When the bell rings, YOU STAY IN LINE!" and jam her back into place beside Leila.

Will I ever be a gracious mom/wife/human being? the one that would have said, "Awww. Keeper loved that hug. Now you'll need to get in the back of the line because you moved, sweetie."

Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.

A little perspective...

Major blowup at the family last night. Sometimes it feels like no one takes me seriously around here; sometimes, like no one appreciates my efforts.

You may be thinking: Now wait a minute. What about that incredible date-night at home?

But could you just excuse me for a minute while I wallow in my own humanity?

Depleted frozen waffles were involved.

Along with one child's comment, "You treat me like crap!"

As I made muffins for said child.

Instead of reading the novel to which I am currently addicted, with a hot beverage in hand.

Both of our children are now in school, and we are all still adapting to the altered dynamics and increased responsibilities. But this comment pushed me over the edge.

Have they already forgotten all of the park and library trips? the bandaged boo-boos? the food and snacks prepared? hotwheels and train-tracks? hide-and-seek? polly pockets and puppy pretend? Really?

And so, indignant and seething, I lashed out, words and kitchen pans clashing.

If I, in all my sinfulness and failures, could react so strongly over feeling forgotten and unappreciated... imagine Holy, Perfect Abba's true entitlement:

"...in the desert....you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God.... He was angry...." ~Deuteronomy 1:31-32

Entitlement?

I am a sinner, married to a sinner, raising two little sinners in a sinful world. The same judgment rests on each of us. And, thank God, the same grace covers each of us through the blood of Christ Jesus.

Unholy temper tantrums?

I can't bank on others remembering my past acts of kindness. Nor am I guaranteed an opportunity tomorrow to compensate for indulging my anger today.

Each of us has right now, this moment, to love those around us.

I need to remember all the ways the Lord my God has carried me, through both deserts and lush pasturelands, to this place.

I need to trust in the Lord my God.

Stuck a feather in his hat and called it...

Macaroni!

Penguins, that is.

Meghan did a fantastic job on her first school report!

On Valentine's Day, with love...

Love is

watching your nine-year-old nap after his first sleepover...

love is pausing to listen to him breathe.

walking your dog in the biting wind...

love is furry ears perked with pleasure.

teaching your daughter how to make pizza dough...

love is little hands dusted with flour.

you and your husband locking yourselves in your room

to exchange Valentines in [relative] quiet...

love is not assuming 12 years has said it all...

love is making the time to write.

Life-glimpses of His love

--the One Who pauses over us --

each breath precious to His heart;

Who longs that we walk beside Him,

though the cold winds may bite.

He desires so much to teach us,

and for us to steal away

and soak in His Words of love.

Date Night

How does an insomnia-primed, over-scheduled day turn sweet? When your husband suggests you go get your nails done and relax. And the sweetness lies not at all in some simple manicure, but in the labors of love this window of time allows to transpire.

When you walk in to flowers and candles -- your own home, much of the time your workplace -- graced with beauty and soft light.

When your children-cum-hostess-and-waiter

greet you with eager and shy smiles by turn,

happy to be part of a special date night for

mom and dad.

When your husband sits across fom you over a meal he has thoughtfully prepared and arranged on the good china.

When you can hear your children's laughter trickle down from the kitchen, but the only one hovering near enough your private table to overhear conversation is your ever-faithful dog.

When you realize that life is stressful and you've both changed over the years but you've still got a good thing going...

Now that's a date.